Not Jonas. Damn you abi for beating me at GH3. But it wasn’t fair cos you were on medium and i was on hard *shakes fist*. Ahh well. I’ll get her. Had my tetanus booster today and now my arm hurts and i’ve played guitar for about 3 hours which had made it worse. Maybe it’ll develop into HIV. Then i could sue. Shoopdewhoop. Anyhoo, I haven’t blogged in ages because i haven’t been bothered. Simple as that. But i’m going skiiiiiiiiiiing on friday so hell yeah. I <3 skiing. I’m uber bored so the only thing that i can think of saying right now is that i kick arse at drama. And making up songs about people.
Jan
24
As i write this, i feel strangely at peace. Although i was late for school, i managed to convince my form tutor that i was actually in form and she was just ignorant. So no harm done. So i’ve settled down, watched a little family guy, played a few games *wink wink* done all my homework and am listening to a bit of daft punk. All i need to do now is put my PE stuff in the washing machine for tomorrow and then i shall get stuff sorted for tomorrow (a first for me) and go to bed at a reasonable time with a book. I wonder what happened to the hateful person of yesterday. Ah well. It’s weird really. How tranquil i feel. Like floating. On fluffy clouds. I just lost an eBay bid, but it’s okay. It’s cool. Didn’t want it anyway. Just bid on it cos no-one else had. NEWS! Mr Shakespeare was teaching our English lesson today and everything went swimmingly. Sorry Mr White, it’s not that you’re a bad teacher. We just don’t like you as much as ol’ Shakey. Stay Shakey stay! I’m gonna be jammin with the kids tomorrow for practise on my ensemble piece Cissy Strut . It’s gonna be tight y’all. God i love family guy. Oh yeah, i forgot to say. A couple of days ago, word got out that the school is auditioning people for a gospel choir. So i thought that i’d want to be the guy who stands at the front who says ‘Can I Get An Amen Over Here? Do You Believe In The Lordah? Then Put One Dollar In The Basket And Come Up To The Front To Be Healedah!’ *SMACK* then they hit them in the forhead and say ‘YOU ARE HEALED MY BROTHAH!’. So i went around all day training. And by training, i mean healing people. And by healing people, i mean smacking them over the forehead. lol
Jan
22
had to bus this morning. I HATE THE FUCKING BUS. it is filled with retards. and inbreds. and invalids who don’t know what inbred means and who go ‘you some sort of bof’ when you question how long their parents have been inbreeding. meh. i hate old people. i hate terry wogan. with his voice that is so deep it’s ventured into infrasound. and his shitty jokes. that only he laughs at. it’s not even a good show! all he does is read out other people’s letters and play crappy music that he believes to be ‘hip’. goddamn irish. ah well. (FYI i do not hate ALL irish. just most of the ones i know) moving swiftly on. drama was da bomb. we did this thing where one person had to tell the other to do stuff and the other had to obey. or be killed. or something. anyhoo, jeni had the wonderful job of bossing me around (no change there) and she told me to walk around acting like a chav. okay. then she had a brainwave: act like a gay chav and flirt with nick. WHAT. THE. FUCK!?! alright fine. i walked. no – bowled up to Nick and went ‘Alright mate. I fucking love you.’ then i dragged him into a cupboard. a dark cupboard. he was scared shitless lol. then evil jeni told me to dance around our trainee (is she a trainee? anyone know?) teacher and dance around her. i raved her in the face. nice. im so cool.
Jan
18
and i have found an awesome blog! i pressed ‘random blog’ and came up with this: http://earlytobed.wordpress.com/ just to give you a taster, here’s a quick quote from one of their posts – “Water-based, colorless lube, including the O’my flavored lubes, will wash out under any circumstances. Silicone lube leaves a faint stain after being washed both with or without stain remover.In terms of body treats, the Kama Sutra oil of loves (flavored heating massage oil) does not stain and the regular Kama Sutra Massage oil does.” eh eh?
Jan
17
ting tang walla walla bing bang. HELL yeah. day off tomorrow! townage to the max. for the win. other generic nerdy phrase. runescape! that’ll do. music sucked today so miss Russell is a stupid philistine who can’t work a computer. so we spent the first half of the lesson doing nothing. then the second half doing nothing. nice. anyway i gotta wrap this up cos it’s dedicated to jeni. and if she doesn’t read it before she turns in, she’s gonna hurt me. or pretend to cry and make me look like a jackass again. wuv yoooouoouuuououououoouu
Jan
15
But sooooo hot. I mean seriously, it’s not appropriate. And this is not my own view. Having a chat with the homies and we came round to the subject of harry potter (for some reason) and then Harry comes out with ‘You know hermione’s meant to be the geeky one? Well – she’s too fucking hot for that! I mean seriously – Harry must be a complete fag to choose that asian girl over her. Stupid prick. And she shouldn’t go out with ron. She should go out with me.’ how nice. so i said ‘and then i’d kill you and tell her that you committed suicide and “comfort her”‘ lol. But seriously, in the first couple of films, Emma watson was all ‘ooh gotta act all nerdy’ then in the forth it’s like LOOK EVERYONE! I HAVE BIG TITS! yeah. i would.
Jan
14
ive decided to compile a list of things that i hate… starting with the fact that this damn thing won’t let me paragraph anyway… people who say: betch, guesstimate, cushty, your mum (but only all the time), danga, bruv (only those who mean it), blud (same applies), shet. i’m sure there’s more but cba tbh (oh – there’s another one). People who compulsively draw cocks on other people’s property. Smokers, those girls who act like japanese muychimayo (or whatever the hell it is) girls, blatantly stupid people, sluts, whores ummm, the way my music teacher is unaware of the fact that she’s a favouritist cow, guys who wear sandals with socks, the way that my maths teacher gives us more homework than is required, my stand-in english teacher cos he basically sucks balls… um… ill add more laster. must kill tim.
Jan
14
as i sit here eating the angel cake that i brought up for my brother, i can’t help but think that i should do my maths homework… ah well. EDIT: completed it 3 hours later =). nighty night
Jan
13
soo… day break in about 2 hours so i’m nearly there. thought i’d take this opportunity to say that i have a random craving for warm apple pie and ice cream. and to talk about smokers. now, i was at a shop and i just happened to glance over at the queue next to us where a woman held a packet full of the contents of a roll your own cigarette, which, for a start was illegal being as we were in a shop, but secondly, had the words DANGER: SMOKING KILLS. so it tells you that quite plainly, but you still go ahead and do it. i mean how stupid can you get?? ahh well… i guess if you want to kill yourself, go ahead, but just do it where i have no concern in it whatsoever. how about mars? i hear the atmosphere there isn’t yet poisoned. knock yourself out. no really. do.
Jan
13
Yeah, so i haven’t written anything lately cos, basically, i haven’t had much to write about. Highlight of thursday was drama cos i was in a group with Poppy who has rather large breasts. And who also has a strange habit of fondling herself. And jumping up and down. I shall leave it there. Nothing really happened on Friday except from in Pe, me and a couple of my friends spent the majority of it telling each other sex stories in a midlands accent. For example, “now, i went to africa to this tribe in mud huts, you know – the hunter types. i went into a hut and i saw this, like, 17 year old girl. i had sex with her, but half way through, her father came home with a machete. now, i thought ‘jesus christ im done for’. he came at me and chopped a good 3 inches off my cock. it were bleeding everywhere so i pulled out, leaving the end of my cock in the woman and ran out the wall cos the hut had like bamboo windows or something. i tried to get away and i saw this guy with a jeep. so i punched him in the face and nicked it. but i wish i didn’t cos it were full of crack and i were put in prison for 9 years.” You know – normal stuff. And i didn’t get up until 3 today so im gonna pull an all nighter so im not tired on monday.
